We're sorry. Honestly, we are.

Now I realise it might seem a little bit disingenuous to say that and then go, "By the way, here's another story about you fucking your own flesh and blood forty ways from Sunday!" Because it's not like we're planning to give it up anytime soon.

See, the thing is, you're pretty hot guys. You've probably noticed. And what's yummier than a hot guy? Two hot guys. And what's yummier than that? Two hot guys who have a really, really good reason why they shouldn't be doing what they're doing. We're perverts, and you two would look fucking delicious together.

Sure, there's a bunch of boring psychological crap about why we're into this kind of fiction, I could dissect it all day, but why complicate the issue?

Besides, you guys started it, back in the OMEGA days. Well, Jeff started it and Matt, you really just got stuck with the consequences. So blame him, we wouldn't be doing this shit if he hadn't put the idea in our heads.

Well okay, we probably would, but we like to pretend.

I'm sure each of you have one or two kinks that are outside of the norm - everyone does, because our sexual tastes are defined by our psyches, by our neuroses and our egos and the insecurities we hide even from ourselves. Can you honestly blame us for having kinks too, just because we find you guys so sexy that we project them on you in our fantasies? It's pretty harmless really.

Honestly, that's all it is, that you two are so utterly irresistible that we're slaves in the face of our uncontrollable desire. We can't help ourselves because we're so overcome by your masculine magnetism.

You can forgive a bunch of deviant fangirls and boys for being helplessly aroused by you, right?

p.s. Sorry about that whole rape/snuff/cannibalism thing. My bad.