I want.
I crave.
I'm yearning...
I'm longing for...

It hurts to be so close to you. I just have to reach out and touch... But I can't.
It's sin, it's illegal...
Depraved...
Wrong...
But I can't stop myself from wishing, dreaming, longing...
You're oblivious.
You can't read the expression of painful desire on my face, you are blind towards it, because you are my brother. The fact that you are very affectionate and easy with sharing touches and closeness doesn't help either.
Words are falling out of me, drowned by the noisy party. They fall down on your drunk prone form on the floor. I kneel next to you, I'm wasted, too. My hands flutter helplessly like moths around you, never touching you and words... words...
Beautiful... desire... love... pain... need...
The shadows of your lashes move slightly, but you don't wake up. Your slightly parted lips..., they look so soft... inviting... I want to penetrate you, even if it's just your mouth...
I lean down, your hot breath ghosts over my cheek, it smells of Vodka Redbull and whisper words into the cave of your mouth, not touching, never touching...
I catch my restless hands between my knees and the motion invades my whole body, I'm rocking slightly, back and forth...
You are never that quiet, when you are awake.
Usually your words drown my words, when they are still thoughts, lingering unspoken in the back of my mind... but now, you are silent and all the words spill out of me...
Brother... want you... want you so bad... please... just once... need... please... just once... let my flesh listen to your heartbeat... let me drown in the dark of your eyes... let me touch you... please... need... let me worship you with hands and lips and tongue... let me taste you... breathe you... feel you... please...
The room spins around me. The music has stopped and the other guests are gone or passed out, too.
Brother, I want to stir the smooth calm surface of your mind... want to break through your confidence... want you on your knees... giving in to me... surrender so sweet... you are strong enough to kneel without disgrace... you would control me even on your knees... until I make you lose control... your strength subdued by me... your powerful body covered by mine... your edges meeting mine... perfectly mirrored... we are the same... but so different... you are everything, that I never could be... I'm everything, that's missing on you... we are meant for each other... we fit together so well...
Our bodies would probably, too...
The house is silent. I can hear nothing but our breathing since the last swaying figure waved goodbye and left.

It almost tears me apart. I whisper again, afraid to speak those words of love and desire out loud.
Again I lean forward, my hands are getting numb in it's prison between my knees, but I don't care. I nuzzle those dark strands of hair, fanning over the floor like a black halo around your head. The scent makes me dizzy, so familiar but intoxicating. I moan softly and my lips graze your cheek, barely, just barely... I shiver all over, feeling incredibly hot and cold at the same time. You move and mumble in your sleep, curling up on your side, closer to the heat radiating from my body.
My hands break free. They hurt and tingle as the blood circulates freely again.
Tattooed fingers creep under the hem of your shirt, shaking with fear and need.
Ghosting over your abs, your skin is so soft..., stumbling into your navel, finding your breastbone, briefly pause to listen to your strong and steady heartbeat before splaying on your left pectoral muscle, covering your nipple, feeling it harden...
You moan softly and your hand finds my thigh, squeezing it softly through the fabric of my pants. Your touch burns like acid. I tremble all over and my fingernails sink into your skin.
Your eyes shot open and you look at me in shock, quickly drawing your hand back, you take a breath to say some thing, but my fingers leave the shelter of your shirt and drape themselves over your mouth, soft lips against my palm.
No words.
There is panic rising in your dark eyes and I see the strong roots move on my skin, down my neck, my arm, wrist, fingers, muscles tensing... gathering strength, I didn't know, I possess.
My naked, inkless left hand softly pets your hair. Midnight black in the shadows with small sparks of light caught in them. Your hands hesitate, hovering shivering over the floor.
You know I would never hurt you, but you also know, that this isn't right.

I look at my reflection in your eyes. A darker shape in the dark.
I see your fear. Strange. I never saw you like that, afraid and helpless.
Mine.
To.
Take.
Mine.
Mine.
"Mine", I've said it.
You tremble visibly.
"No words...", I state and uncover your mouth again.
You stay silent.
I lean down to kiss you.
You stay motionless, but I will play you like an instrument before the night is over...