The dreams always started out the same way...

The warm sun shining down on the North Carolina hillside. A secluded pond located miles away from civilization was the perfect setting for an afternoon rendezvous. Situated under one of the old oak trees that littered the banks along the water were two lovers sprawled out on a plaid blanket...caught up in a passionate embrace.

The youngest of the pair slid his arms around the neck of his love, tangling his long fingers in the soft raven locks to pull him deeper into the kiss they shared. When he was met with resistance, he broke the kiss and opened his eyes to find his lover, looking up at him, regarding him intently. Feeling slightly confused he lowered his head for another taste of the sweet lips, but a hand pressed to his chest stopped him. He whimpered in protest when he was pushed roughly away and onto his back on the blanket. His lover quickly got to his feet, straightening his disheveled clothing.

The rejected man slowly got to his feet also and went over to wrap his arms around the waist of his brother. "Matty? What is it, baby? Did I do something wrong?" Jeff was at a loss as to what was happening. His thoughts were in a whirlwind as he tried to figure out what he could have done that had upset his brother. "Matty?"

Matt pulled Jeff's arms off of him and stepped back. He shook his head sadly as he contemplated his brother. "What, Jeff? What do you want?" he questioned.

"What do I want?" he echoed. "Matty, you know I only want to be with you...to love you." Jeff tentatively smiled and held his arms out to him, but Matt was moving further away from him, out of his reach. He tried to follow him, but his feet wouldn't move. He cried out to his brother. "Matt! Please, don't go...don't leave me!!" he desperately pleaded but to no avail.

"It's over, Jeff," his voice trailing off as he seemed to slowly disappear from Jeff's view. "You said it yourself. You don't want this anymore...don't want me." he stated simply.

Jeff shook his head fervently in denial. "No, Matty! That's not true!" Once again he tried to go after his brother, but he couldn't reach him. "I didn't mean it when I said that...I do need you!"

But Matt was gone.

"Maaaatt," Jeff screamed hoarsely, bolting upright in his bed. His breathing was coming out in short, harsh pants as he struggled to break free from the grip of his nightmare. He buried his face into the coverlet as tears streamed down his face.

The dreams haunted him nightly. Every morning he awoke with the ever-present feelings of pain and loneliness surrounding him. He knew the dreams stemmed from the mistakes he'd made in the past...the mistakes he had no clue how to fix. He missed Matt something fierce. But he hadn't dared go back to Matt's since he'd...well, since the 'incident'. He knew he'd be pressing his luck if he went there again. He tried to keep his mind occupied with other things so that he wouldn't think about it constantly busying himself with his various projects...just trying to get past the hours of loneliness. So far nothing had worked.

Even though it was barely light outside, he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. With a sigh, Jeff sat up and wiped the tears away. He didn't know how much more he could take...Jeff pushed off the covers and crawled out of bed. He grabbed some clothes from a pile on the floor, heading for a hot shower. He knew he was going to have another long day ahead of him.

Matt, meanwhile, was fuming. 'How dare he do this to me!' he silently ranted, shoving his bed sheets into the washer, slamming the lid shut. He stalked back into the kitchen and rifled thru his cupboards, not exactly sure what it was he was looking for. "I mean, first he waltzes in to my house...my bedroom!.. like he owns the place," not finding anything he slams the door shut and moves over to the refrigerator, yanking the door open with a little too much force. Glass jars rattled as he shoved them aside to grab a bottle of water. Caught up in the warring emotions, Matt didn't realize he'd started talking out loud to himself.

He twisted off the cap and thru it in the direction of the waste can, not caring if it went in or not. "And then he just sits there...watching me!" Matt snorted, taking his drink over to the French doors that led out onto the patio in his back yard. "Just watching me! But does he stop there? Fuck no!" Matt's voice was getting louder as he paced back and forth. Anyone witnessing Matt's uncharacteristic behavior would have thought he'd lost his mind.

"He has to go and..." Matt paused for a moment as the images of Jeff getting himself off...images that he'd tried desperately to forget... leapt to the forefront of his thoughts.

"Fuck," he whimpered, his eyes slid shut. Jeff had looked so hot that night. Matt licked his lips as he relived every tortuous moment. He easily remembered every touch, every moan. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the erotic scene across the room from him. He felt the tension in the air as Jeff stroked his hard cock, lost in his fantasies. Matt had found it difficult to even breathe as Jeff found his release, Matt's name a muffled scream falling from Jeff's lips.

Leaning forward to rest his head against the cool glass, Matt could feel his body responding to the memory that continued to plague him. No matter how hard he fought it, he couldn't stop the heat that coursed thru his body...every muscle tensing as his heart beat rapidly. He tried taking deep, calming breaths to regain his composure. He couldn't keep doing this to himself.

After several sleepless nights spent waiting in vain for his brother to return, he needed something to vent his frustrations on. He briefly contemplated going for a run, but the dull ache in his knee, and the persistent one in his groin, vetoed that idea. He settled for a grueling work out instead, hoping that the physical exertion would chase Jeff from his mind...even if it was only temporary.

Two hours later, Matt still hadn't accomplished anything. Despite his best efforts, his thoughts remained firmly on his baby brother. He knew he was going to have to decide what to do about Jeff and he was going to have to do it soon...before he lost what little remained of his sanity.