“Matt?” Jeff yelled, flinging the door of his brother's house open as fast as possible so he could get his hand back underneath the burden he currently had trapped between his body and the wall. “One crate of beer, as promised. See, I told you I'd replace it.”

Getting no reply, not even Matt swearing at him for letting the door hit the hallway wall, Jeff stepped over the threshold and hooked his foot around the door, slamming it behind him. He took the beer through to the kitchen and put it on the work surface, deciding he couldn't be bothered putting them all in the fridge. Divested of his load, he went in search of Matt.

He found him in the living room, sitting on the sofa facing the TV although his eyes were fastened on the window, his mind clearly someplace else. “Hello? Earth to Matt?”

“Huh?” Matt pulled himself from his reverie, confronted by Jeff waving a hand rapidly in front of his face. “Oh, hi Jeff. Didn't hear you come in.”

“Evidently. I brought you that crate of beer, so you can stop whining at me about it now. Not that I imagine it'll take you long to come up with something else to whine at me about...” Jeff trailed off, waiting expectantly for a smartass reply.

“Thanks.”

Jeff's brow furrowed. “What's up with you? You've normally got me trying to defend things I did when I was twelve by now.”

Matt cracked a smile. “Quit trying to imply I harrass you.”

“You DO harrass me, incessantly. It's a miracle I've taken thirty years of it without losing my mind. So?”

“So what?”

“So what's the problem, dumbass?”

“Not a problem, exactly... I split up with Lucy.”

Sensing this conversation might take a while, Jeff sat on the sofa next to his brother. “Bummer, another one bites the dust. How many's that now?” The slap he received around the back of his head took him quite by surprise.

Matt glared. “Do you fuckin' mind?”

Jeff replayed the exchange in his head, rubbing at the sore spot where Matt had made contact. “Oh. Sorry. I guess that might have come over as a bit insensitive.”

“You think?” Matt asked dryly. “It's alright, we weren't that involved or anything, I'm just getting kinda tired of making the effort, you know?”

Jeff thought about it for a moment. “Not really. I've never really been in that situation. I can see it must be frustrating though.”

“Yeah... do you want a quick beer?”

“Sure, I can stay for one.” Jeff sprawled back against the cushions as Matt got to his feet. He stared at the crap on the muted TV while he tried to imagine what the single life was like. He figured his mental construction of it must be pretty far off, or everyone would be doing it. Matt'd certainly be smiling more about it.

He was deeply engrossed in thinking about wild parties full of lap dancers with bisexual tendencies when Matt returned, a beer in each hand.

“Here I was, thinking I'd have to dig through the bottles you just put in the fridge to find the cold ones from the last batch... it's so unlike you to just dump them and leave them for me to put away.” Passing one of the bottles to Jeff, Matt sank back into his favourite spot.

“There's no need to be sarcastic.” Taking a swig of his beer, Jeff looked at Matt sideways. “So, you gonna tell me how it happened?”

Matt exhaled deeply. “Nothing much to tell really. I think we'd been getting on each other's nerves for a while, so we decided to call it a day. It's not the end of the world or anything, just kind of a nuisance having to start over again.”

Jeff turned and lounged back against the arm of the sofa, swinging his feet - big, clumpy boots and all – into Matt's lap and very nearly ensuring he'd never be an uncle. “D'you ever think maybe the reason all your relationships foul up is because you're a total pain in the ass?” He spluttered on his beer when Matt thumped his shin hard enough to make it go numb.

“You're heading for a kick in the teeth. Do you even know what 'tact' is?”

“Yeah, but I shouldn't have to waste time being tactful with my own brother, should I?” Jeff grinned, shaking his leg to get some feeling back into it and adding 'breaking his nose' to the list of injuries he'd almost caused Matt this week.

Matt irritably grabbed the heavy boot waving about in front of his face and pinned it into his lap. “The thought had occurred to me,” he admitted grudgingly. “I don't do it deliberately. Which means I'm kinda doomed to keep on doing it, really.”

“Your problem is you're too insecure,” Jeff said.

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Have you seen me? I'm fucking wonderful.”

“Not insecure in that way,” Jeff replied, rolling his eyes. “No one could ever accuse you of having low self-esteem.” His voice softened. “But you still expect everyone to leave you.”

“And I'm right, aren't I?”

“Only 'cause you make yourself right. You drive everyone insane with the way you refuse to let go for even a second.”

Matt snorted. “What, it's a bad thing to want to hold onto people?”

“It is if you hold on so tight you're choking the life out of them, yeah.”

Matt was silent for a moment, drinking his beer and looking back out the window. “I know I do it,” he said finally. “I don't mean to. I just... well, you know where it comes from. I can't help it, I can't stop feeling like if I ease up people will slip through my fingers.”

Jeff swung his legs around, one to the floor and tucking the other underneath him as he sat up facing Matt. “Yeah, I know.” He grinned impishly. “Believe me, if I didn't know there's no way I'd put up with you doing it to me. Sometimes I think if you could walk around with me in a headlock all day you would, just to make sure nothing happens to me.”

“With you, that's not a bad idea. Although you seem to walk through a lot of things blissfully unscathed, while everyone around you is hit with freak accidents.” Matt sighed. “I know I need to tone it down, I just don't know if I can.”

“It'll work out eventually.” Jeff patted Matt's knee consolingly.

“I'm beginning to think all this 'love' business is a myth.” Matt looked down at his lap. “I don't want to, Lord knows, but I'm seriously beginning to wonder. It's like the connection is never real, we're just going through the motions. And I don't care for the idea of going through all the rest of my life alone.”

“Aw, I love ya, man,” Jeff said playfully, leaning in to peck his brother on the lips. Matt smiled and let him; affectionate displays were something he and Jeff had never grown out of. However, he started to squirm a little internally when this one lasted just a split second longer than felt natural.

He was thinking about how to change the subject when Jeff leaned in on him again, and he was far too surprised to do anything other than sit stock still as Jeff's lips bore down on him. They pressed against his own tentatively, Jeff very clearly feeling uncomfortable himself. He remained immobile as the soft mouth pressed against him parted and Jeff's tongue clumsily slipped out to lick at his lips.

Out of sheer habit Matt allowed his mouth to fall open and his brother's tongue slid hesitantly inside. It dipped down to run over his own and then sought just a little deeper into the depths of his mouth, Jeff's head angling further to the side to let their parted lips mesh more completely.

Matt's brain flared into action as the kiss deepened and he put his free hand on Jeff's shoulder, gently pushing him back. Jeff stared at him for a moment and then suddenly became intensely interested in his beer, taking five good mouthfuls from the bottle consecutively. Matt wasn't capable even of that redundant action.

“Uh... Jeff?”

“Yes?” Jeff's voice was completely level.

“What the hell was that?”

Jeff smiled wryly. “A misguided attempt to show you you're never alone?” he offered hopefully.

“Misguided?” Matt raised an eyebrow. “Jeff, you kissed me.”

“Yes, alright, I didn't think that one through very well, I know!” Reluctantly, Jeff glanced up at his brother's face. “Stop fucking looking at me like that, I'm well aware that it was stupid.” He fiddled with the label on his beer bottle, mainly to avoid looking at Matt again. He sat and peeled pieces of it away in the silence between them, not quite sure what he expected Matt to do in retaliation but fairly certain it would involve either violence or humiliation. What he didn't expect was the tiny giggle he heard from Matt's direction.

Brows knitting in confusion, he snapped his head up to find Matt visibly fighting the desire to laugh, biting on his bottom lip in his effort to keep a straight face. Unfortunately for Jeff, his consternation tipped the balance and Matt dissolved into helpless laughter.

While Jeff sat and stared, Matt howled almost hysterically, quickly reaching the point where the laughter no longer produced any sound but still made his ribs feel like someone had stuck knitting needles into them. Every time he started to calm a little he would catch sight of Jeff's baffled expression and completely lose it again, his stomach cramping painfully.

After five minutes of this, Jeff was quite annoyed. “I'm gonna fuckin' punch you if you don't stop laughing at me,” he threatened, but it only seemed to make things worse. Following through on his threat didn't help either, and kicking Matt in the shoulder just made him fall off the sofa. Jeff at least had the satisfaction that now he was going to have a beer stain on his carpet.

Jeff sulked, drinking from his bottle and glaring moodily at his brother, putting the boot in whenever Matt rolled near enough. Gradually Matt's giggles began to subside, and he lay still for a moment, gasping for breath and wiping the tears from his eyes. With great effort he pulled himself to his feet, his abused stomach muscles complaining all the way. He retrieved his spilt beer bottle and put it on the coffee table before resuming his seat next to his glowering sibling.

“Sometimes Jeff, you take dumb to a whole new level.”

Setting his now empty bottle next to Matt's, Jeff leaned back and folded his arms. “Have you quite finished?”

“For now, yes.” Matt grinned widely. “But I think you should bear in mind that I'm going to bring this up during every argument we ever have from now on.”

“I fuckin' hate you.”

“No you don't,” Matt smirked, “you clearly think I'm fantastic. You luuuuurrrrrrrrrve me.”

“If you don't shut up right now, I'm going to tell Dad you're picking on me.”

“Oh yeah, I can see that conversation now -'Hey Dad? Matt's laughing at me because I slipped him the tongue!'”

“You're a prick.”

“Maybe, but at least I didn't just put the moves on my brother.” Matt raised his arms to protect himself from the half-hearted slaps Jeff aimed at him. When they tapered off and he could put his arms down again and look at Jeff he almost felt guilty; Jeff looked far more ashamed than embarrassed.

“I was just trying to help. I know I'm stupid and I do stuff before I really think, but I just wanted to make you smile.” Jeff stared petulantly at the floor.

“And it worked!” Matt threw his arm around Jeff's shoulders, but kept the hug very brief under the circumstances. “Granted, it wasn't the brightest idea you've ever had but your heart's in the right place. I'd be grateful if you kept your tongue to yourself but I appreciate the sentiment. When I said alone I didn't mean alone, you know? I know you're there for me, Jeffro.”

Jeff smiled ruefully. “I really am going to be harrassed about this for years to come, aren't I?”

“Decades to come.”

“Fucking wonderful. Ah well, maybe it'll teach me to think before I act.”

“I find that doubtful.”

Jeff pulled himself to his feet, brushing little pieces of the beer bottle label off his clothes and onto Matt's carpet. “I'd better get back to my other half, I said I'd only be a couple of minutes. Somehow I don't think the line, 'Sorry darling, I was busy making out with my brother,' will convince her to cut me a lot of slack.”

Matt snorted. “No, probably not. And I need to go gargle with bleach anyway...”

“Shut the fuck up, my mouth is not only clean and minty fresh, it's also desired by women – and men – the whole world over. You should feel honoured.”

“Yes, I'm so honoured my brother molested me.”

“Dipshit,” Jeff muttered, turning to leave the room.

“Don't let the door hit the wall again or you can come back and retouch the paintwork. And Jeff?”

Jeff stopped with a sigh. “What else did I do wrong?”

“Nothing.” Matt's voice softened. “Thank you.”

Jeff threw a smile back over his shoulder. “No problem. You know where I am if you need anything.”

Matt watched Jeff disappear from the room, shaking his head at his impetuous but well-intentioned brother. He winced when he heard his front door connect heavily with the hallway wall. “What the fuck did I just say?!” he yelled.

From outside he heard a muffled, “Kiss my ass!” before his front door slammed shut.

Matt got up to collect the scraps of Jeff's beer bottle label from the floor, muttering to himself. “It'd almost be worth doing that just to see the look on his face...”