Jeff was nearly bouncing when he ran out of his house and down the driveway, rushing towards the Lightning that had just pulled up in front of his home. He yanked the driver’s side door open and practically threw himself into the lap of the man inside. The cab of the truck was filled with laughter instantly from both of them.

“Okay, okay, Jeff! I missed you too!” Shannon squealed as Jeff hugged tightly to him.

“You have no idea how hard it was to wait for you to come over today! I hate having to share you with your wife!”

“Oh God, that makes it sound dirty!”

“It always could be ya know,” Jeff grinned evilly as he finally pulled back.

“Horny little pervert. Let me out.”

Shannon was relieved to at last be allowed of his vehicle and he quickly gathered up the duffle he was using to hold his things. He was staying the night since it had been so long since he’d seen his best friend. And just as planned their day was filled with excitement and fun, reforming the bond they had shared since childhood. By the time the sun went down on the world Shannon and Jeff were pretty much exhausted. They ended up sprawled on the floor of Jeff’s living room in front of the television.

“Hey Jeff?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you talked to Matt?”

There was a moment of silence.

“A few weeks ago. He called to catch up and to remind me to take care of his house. Why?”

Shannon lifted his head from the floor to look over at Jeff lying on his back less than a foot away. He was staring at the ceiling with an expression Shannon knew well. It was forced blankness to conceal what was really underneath. It was amazing to him that Matt and Jeff were still not back to normal after so long. Jeff’s leaving had really taken a severe toll on their previously intimate relationship. Shannon could still hear them screaming at each other if he remembered their final argument. They had made up, but still hadn’t forgiven each other completely.

“I have something I think you need to see.”

Before Jeff could question it Shannon got up and jogged out of the room. He went up to the guest room where his things were and dug through his duffle. He returned with a video tape in his hand and gave it over to Jeff.

“What’s this?”

“Just start it. It’s important.”

Jeff did as instructed, still confused and wary, but he joined Shannon on the couch and hit play on the remote. The tape started and revealed itself to be a home video. The setting seemed to be a small bar crowded with various people that Jeff hadn’t seen in ages. He smiled as he saw his old co-workers having fun, drinking, waving at the camera.

“Are you taping it?”

“Yeah. It’s my camera.”

In the video Shannon stopped on Matt, who was sitting alone at a table with a glass of something richly colored in front of him. Matt looked up and rolled his eyes.

“Will you get that thing off me please? You’ve filmed me enough lately.”

“Yeah, but now you have clothes on,” Shannon chirped, causing Jeff to laugh.

“You’re fucking Matt, but not me?”

“No! Just watch will ya?”

Back in the video, Matt was still bitching about the camera.

“That’s not funny, damn it. Go away, Shan.”

“I need your help before you do your song tonight. I’m gonna tape you while you’re singing.”

“What do you need from me?”

“Just tell me what song you’re doing and why and stuff.”

Matt’s expression changed from annoyed to something altogether different. He frowned and looked down at his drink momentarily, sliding the glass across the table in a circle to stir the drink.

“Um… I didn’t really want to explain myself tonight, Shan. I just wanna sing and then go home.”

“You mean to the hotel.”

“Yeah. What’d I say?”

“Home.”

“Oh… Well, you knew what I meant.”

“Just tell me then I’ll leave you alone,” Shannon coaxed.

“I’m doing an Evanescence song, okay? And it’s dedicated to Jeff. Is that enough to make you happy?”

“Ooo, for Jeffy? What song, Matty?”

“Never mind that, Shanny,” he sneered at Shannon’s twinky act.

“Sorry, but I’ve been drinking with Robby. In fact, I think I’ll go back to it!”

The screen went black and then turned to black and white snow momentarily before turning back on. Now it was focused on the stage, where Matt was getting ready to sing obviously. Jeff glanced over at Shannon momentarily.

“Watch and listen. Carefully.”

He frowned a little, but turned back to the screen. Matt had taken the microphone from it’s stand and was waiting patiently for his music. A brief argument with the crew confirmed which song he wanted and the music started a moment later. As soon as it began Jeff knew the song. It was the version of it that was the saddest, being only piano and voice. It was “My Immortal.” Jeff leaned forward slightly as he listened to Matt’s voice over the chatter of the bar. Thankfully it didn’t take long for everyone to go pretty much silent. Matt’s singing voice always commanded an audience with it’s perfect beauty. And he was pouring every single ounce of emotion into the words, rocking slightly with the flowing piano, obviously trapped in the moment. But his voice was starting to break and waver. Jeff almost fell off the edge of the couch leaning forward. He could swear he saw tears on his brother’s face.

“I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone… But though you're still with me… I’ve been alone all along!”

Matt had to pull the microphone back from his lips to sing that part, getting loud and belting it with all of the strength in his powerful lungs. Then the volume of the song lowered slightly and his voice softly followed, growing almost timid, still shaking. In fact, the last line was completely blown as he suddenly sobbed. Jeff’s butt slid from the edge of the couch to the floor as he watched Matt run off of the stage. There was a little commotion as Shannon obviously hurried to get up and follow, but the camera turned off again. Behind him on the couch Shannon took the remote and hit the stop button. Jeff wasn’t sure what to do or say… or even think.

“Dedicated to me? He sang that song for me?” he whispered.

“Now can you see what’s going on? Do you see why I try to get you to talk to him every time I call?” Shannon slid down to the floor next to him, staring at him intently. “I don’t know what’s going on inside of you, Jeff, but Matt is dying. This is killing him. He can’t go for this long of a time without you, you know that, but now he can’t even call you without a really good logical reason. The two of you are pushing each other away so harshly and for what? Because you quit wrestling? Who fucking cares?”

“He did,” Jeff snapped.

“He doesn’t anymore. Believe me. He doesn’t care what you do with your life now as long as you’re happy and it includes him somehow. He misses you so much.” Shannon forced him to look up at him. “I hear him at night when we share a room. Every single night without fail. He cries. He cries like he’s being sliced open with a fucking knife. He sounds so fucking pitiful when he wails into his pillow, saying your name over and over again.”

“No… No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.” Jeff turned away and got to his feet as if to leave, but then looked back down at him. “He hurt me! Not the other way around! He broke my heart! He didn’t fucking care about anything I wanted! He’s the asshole, not me!”

“You think he doesn’t know that?” Shannon asked, staying calm. “Jeff, that just makes it worse for him because he knows that this is all his fault. He fucked everything up and now he has to live with that misery. At least, that’s what he thinks. He believes that the two of you will never, ever be close again.”

Shannon watched the tears coming to Jeff’s eyes, tears he refused to shed. He was angry, but not nearly as much as he was saddened. He looked lost. He didn’t know what to do. Shannon got to his feet, pulling his keys from his pocket and dropping them into Jeff’s hand.

“He’s at his house right now. I got him to take off at the same time as me so I could try to help the two of you.” Jeff looked down at the keys and then up at Shannon unsurely. “Go to him, Jeff. He needs you.”

“What can I say to him? After all the horrible things we said to each other? What if we just fight again?”

“Don’t. Walk up to him, take him into your arms, and tell him how much you love him. Don’t let the subject be touched. Just love him. Let him know he’s not an only child.”

“Brother…” he barely whispered, looking at the keys again.

Shannon saw Jeff’s fingers tighten around the keys then was surprised when Jeff leaned down and kissed him. He turned and ran from the house without looking back again. Shannon watched from the window as Jeff left in his truck.

“Please, let this work. Let this work before Matt goes through with his plans,” he prayed.

Jeff had to struggle to keep his eyes clear as he drove the familiar roads towards his brother’s new home. He was breaking the speed limit he knew, but it didn’t matter. As long as a cop didn’t try to pull him over he’d be fine. It was only a little while later he was grinding to a halt in the gravel driveway that was yet to be paved. He looked up at the majestic building Matt had crafted and designed himself. Lights were on here and there inside, most of them being upstairs. Matt never went to bed early, though, so he hurried up the steps and reached for the door. It was unlocked. He burst in and looked around.

“Matty! Matty, where are you! It’s me!” he called as he started through the house. He went through the downstairs briefly, having a feeling Matt was upstairs. “Matty! It’s Jeff! Where you at!”

Once in the upstairs hall Jeff went instantly to each room where lights were shining. The first one was Matt’s personal office where the computer and various things were. Jeff frowned when he noticed a bottle on the desk and a glass next to it. Both were empty and he didn’t have to walk over to see that it was rum. Matt’s only favorite drink. His only drink at all. He walked down to the next room which was Matt’s bedroom. It was in complete disarray, clothes flung everywhere. The strangest thing was that all the clothes that were scattered about were old wrestling gear, various strange patterned belly shirts, fishnets and sheers, baggy jeans all in black, and multiple unique belts. Jeff’s frown deepened all the more, his heart starting to thud even harder in his chest. He had a very bad feeling creeping over him. He stepped back out into the hall and looked at the light shining at the end. It was the bathroom.

“Oh God…” he whispered. “Matty! No! Don’t do it!”

Jeff ran to the end of the hall and shoved the door open, finding just one of the horrific scenes that had flashed through his mind. Matt was crouched on the tiled floor, dressed to the gothic hilt in neon green Hardy Boyz shirt, baggy black jeans, clunky boots, his cow print belt, and even a purple fishnet underneath the green. His long hair fell in messy curls around his face, a few strands covering his left eye as he slowly looked up at his brother in the doorway. Jeff stared in complete horror at the blood dripping from a small cut on the inside of Matt’s left arm. It was deep, but very short, resembling a puncture wound. He hadn’t had a chance to pull the blade down.

“Jeff? What are you doing here?” he asked quietly, his voice an eerie monotone.

“Oh God, Matty!” he wailed and slid to his knees in front of him, snatching away the knife to throw it across the room, then pulling Matt tight into his embrace. “Please, don’t do this! Don’t do this because of me! I’m so sorry, Matty! I love you so much! Please, don’t die!”

Matt didn’t react to him much at first, but Jeff didn’t care. He clung to him desperately, pressing his face into his soft tresses as he cried. So close… I was almost too late. He was terribly frightened at what had nearly happened. His tears were fear induced, evident as he clutched handfuls of Matt’s shirt while he sobbed, tugging and pulling at him as if trying to pull him into his own body as comfort. He needed to insure that he was there, that he was safe and alive.

“Jeff…” Matt finally whispered, his hands coming up to touch his brother’s sides. “Jeff… You’re here.”

Strong arms wrapped firmly around his slender torso, squeezing in a grip he had always tried to wriggle out of because of it suffocating power. Now it was a relief to feel that strength surround him. He gasped slightly at the choking hold, but reveled in it, holding even tighter to Matt in return. Strangled cries came from Matt’s throat as he finally seemed to come back to life. Jeff’s presence dragged him out of the suicidal numbness that had prevailed during all of his preparations for a moment that thankfully didn’t come. He only pulled away when he became aware of the pain in his wrist.

“Oh God that fucking hurts!” he bit his lip as he looked at the wound. “What happened to me?”

“What do you mean what happened?” Jeff asked.

“I mean, how the hell did I get hurt, Jeff! What do you think?”

Jeff blinked in shock for a moment, but then slowly pulled Matt to his feet and pushed him down on a chair in front of the counter. He rummaged around in search of the first aid kit and quickly started tending to the self-inflicted slice.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Sitting in the office having a drink, playing on the internet,” Matt said absently, looking down at his clothes as if wondering what the hell he had been smoking while getting dressed.

“I wasn’t here to see, but it looks like you got stinking drunk, dressed yourself up in some old Hardy Boyz clothes…” he looked Matt in the eyes, “and then tried to kill yourself.”

There was a long moment where Matt simply stared at him, at first in disbelief, but then in fear. Jeff went back to the bandages as Matt sat in silence and watched.

“When did you get here?” he asked quietly.

“Just a few minutes ago I think.”

“You… You yelled at me didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I found the empty rum bottle and then all your old clothes all over the room. And when I saw the light on in here I just knew.”

“You yelled for me not to do it.”

“Yeah.” Jeff stopped for a moment to wipe a hand over his tear streaked face. “I was so scared I hadn’t made it in time. I thought I was going to walk in here… and… find you dead.”

“Looks like you just made it.” He tried to give a weak smile. “You’re always late.”

“Not late this time. Never late ever again.”

“Listen, Jeff. I’m—“

“No,” he halted him with a hand over his mouth. “Don’t start. Don’t say anything like that. I’m over it. I swear to God I forgive you and I don’t want to ever talk about any of it ever again.”

“But,” he heard Matt say behind his hand.

“No.” He moved his hand and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, big brother.”

“I love you too… baby brother.”

Matt leaned up and kissed him again then pulled him in for a tight hug. Jeff slid into his lap without thinking about it. The two of them cuddled together for a long time, enjoying the warmth of the embrace they had missed. Jeff nuzzled Matt’s wild curls and inhaled his sweet scent, a mix of musk, some sort of spice, and the rum he had been drinking. The most familiar scent. It was so much like his own, but thicker, heady enough to make him swoon at times. He shook his head slightly to clear it before speaking again.

“Shannon showed me a video today.” Matt didn’t give much of an answer, but Jeff knew he was listening. “Thank you for the song, but try to make it a happier one next time, okay?”

After a second or two Matt nodded again Jeff’s chest. “Okay.”

“What d’ya say we go clean up that mess you made in your bedroom?” he asked, provoking Matt to raise his head and look at him. He gave a small smirk and added, “And maybe afterwards we’ll make a mess of your bed?”

“To hell with the cleaning,” Matt growled low in his throat as he stood up, taking Jeff with him by cradling him in his arms.

“Uh oh. It’s been a while,” Jeff chuckled. “You’re gonna ravage me aren’t you?”

“Nope. I’m gonna spend all night making up for lost time,” he answered in a whisper.

Jeff shuddered and pressed his face into the curve of Matt’s throat, tightening his hold on him. He was vaguely aware of a sound like a phone ringing somewhere in the house, but it was cut off when his big brother kicked the door shut behind him.

Meanwhile, at the Imagi-Nation, Shannon set the phone back in it’s cradle with a little smile on his face. He knew that if anything had gone wrong Jeff would’ve answered the phone immediately in order to seek out help. No answer meant things were going well. It also meant that he would be alone for the evening and, for some reason, going back home sounded kinda dull.

“I wonder where Jeff hid all the porn on his computer,” he mumbled and headed for Jeff’s office.